


Naboo's Princess

by itsybitsyish



Category: The Mighty Boosh (TV)
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Baby, Blue Eyes, F/M, Gay, Hetero, King Kong - Freeform, Letter, M/M, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Planet, Princess - Freeform, Romance, Royalty, Unplanned Pregnancy, crimps, relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-07 23:21:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 9,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13445568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsybitsyish/pseuds/itsybitsyish
Summary: Naboo finds his princess, but it doesn't look like it's meant to be.  Or is it?  Probably not.  But, hey, anything could happen!  Than again...Meanwhile, Bollo is still annoyed at Peter Jackson's choosing another gorilla over him for the role of 'King Kong', as Howard and Vince have trouble coming up with new crimps.





	1. Chapter 1

Naboo had walked into his shop feeling rather tired after a long carpet ride's journey all the way from Xooberon.  
He'd found Howard and Vince standing behind the counter discussing elbow patched.  
'Oh, hey, Naboo, back so soon?' Vince greeted cheerily, his glossy pink lips forming a wide grin.  
'S'been a whole week, what d'ya mean 'so soon'?' Naboo asked, dark eyebrows raised. 'You better not've been goin' through my stuff again...'  
'I haven't!' Vince told him, hands raised in the air.  
Naboo thought he'd said that a bit too quickly for it to be true, but left it.  
'And, this came for you and all.' Vince said, gesturing to a green envelope tied with a black satin ribbon on the counter. 'Came maybe five minutes before you showed up.'  
Naboo took the envelope, briefly closing his eyes as he noted a familiar scent on the paper.  
The corners of his mouth turned upward slightly, and he cleared his throat before heading past the counter and upstairs without another word.  
Bollo, who had brought in the carpet and Naboo's bag, followed his little master.

 

'What do you suppose that was about?' Howard asked curiously.  
'What what was about?' Vince asked cluelessly.  
'Well, I mean, Naboo's obviously happy to get that letter.' Howard stated, wiping at a waterspot on top of the display case. 'And, with that scent on it, it's got to be from a girl, doesn't it?'  
'Could be a boy, y'know, Howard.' Vince pointed out for no other reason than to get up his friend's nose.  
'That's a bit beside the point, isn't it?' Howard said, frowning in annoyance.  
'All right, fine... Who do you suppose it's from?' Vince asked, thinking that since Howard had brought the topic up he might have an idea.  
'Could be that head shaman's wife, maybe.' Howard supposed.  
'Nah, Naboo hates her. Thinks she's a bit off her nut, as well.' Vince disagreed.  
'Hm, well, I guess it wouldn't be her, then.'   
'D'ya think?'   
Howard wasn't sure who it could possibly be. After all, Naboo kept his life away from them more or less a mystery.

 

'There was that girl who came in a few times during the spring.' Vince pointed out, remembering the short blue eyed girl with her ankle length skirts and long eyelashes he had to admit he'd been slightly envious of.  
'Which girl?' Howard asked, unable to recall.  
'Curly brown hair, blue eyes, wore long skirts...' Vince tried jogging his memory. 'She was actually interested in talking jazz with you.'  
'Oh, her!' Howard beamed at the recollection of discussing all things jazz with such a lovely young lady. 'You mean Grace. I sure wouldn't mind if she popped back in again some time soon... You think she sent the letter?'  
Vince shrugged. 'Could be. How should I know?' He leaned against the wall behind him, sliding his hands into his trouser pockets (which Howard found surprising he could manage to do, considering how tight those drainpipes were). 'I mean, she did talk to Naboo that last time she was here. Not that it means anything.'  
'About the chance of a job. Hardly anything to go on there, sir, now is there?'  
Vince shrugged again. 'Like I said, it doesn't necessarily mean anything.'

 

Silence fell, and boredom reigned.  
It had been a slow day, with only a few potential customers here and there with only a couple actually buying anything.  
'I could really go for a cuppa.' Howard grumbled, thinking that a couple of chocolate biscuits would be a nice accompaniment.  
'There's only ten minutes left before closing and it's been slow, anyway. Let's call it a day.' Vince said, stepping out from behind the counter and locking up the entrance. 'Wouldn't mind a bit of something, myself.'

 

As Howard and Vince enjoyed a snack of tea and biscuits, Naboo sat cross legged on his super king-sized bed.  
He stared at the envelope, feeling almost anxious at the thought of what could be inside.  
Not that he had any idea one way or the other. But, that was anxiety for you.  
Howard had been right in guessing that the letter had been from a girl, one which Naboo hadn't seen in a good six months.

However, a marriage arrangement had been struck for Aniza, the beautiful dark skinned princess from the planet Humerion, and the romance which had come as a surprise to them both had come to a swift end.  
Not that it had been a forced marriage, only that Aniza knew how disappointed her mother and father would have been to learn that she didn't want to marry Pernick, the man whom they'd painstakingly chosen as the best possible match for their treasured only daughter.  
And, so, she had explained the situation to Naboo.   
They'd parted ways, and hadn't had any contact since.

It had been very difficult for Naboo, who had fallen hard for Aniza; a number of the other shamen had come together to help ease his pain, resulting in a fortnight long bender which he didn't remember all that much of. Other than being sick in his turban a couple of times, and accidentally stepping on one of Tony Harrison's tentacles.  
And, now, Naboo held this green envelope... Green was her favourite colour, and she often wore it.   
He blew out a deep breath, and began to carefully open it.

 

Meanwhile, Howard, Vince, and Bollo sat on the couch watching King Kong.  
Bollo had been adamant that they watch it, having been sure to remind them how he'd auditioned for the role.  
'Why'd you even pick this? All you've been doing is pointing out the poor guy's mistakes.' Vince asked, gesturing toward the television.  
'It is not my fault if 'Koko' cannot cope with such a big role. Peter should have chosen me. I would have done a much better job.' Bollo grumbled, before pointing out what he considered to be another mistake.  
Howard sighed, looking over to Vince. 'I don't know how much more of his complaining I can take, do you want to go practice some crimps?'  
Vince had been sitting there looking pained, but had perked up at this suggestion. 'Yeah, that sounds electric.'  
Howard patted Bollo's hairy shoulder. 'Right, well, Vince and I need to go work on something, but you go right ahead without us.'  
Bollo grunted and nodded. 'I'll let you know how it turns out.'  
Howard and Vince exchanged glances.  
'You don't know?' Howard asked casually.  
'No. Why?' Bollo asked, not taking his eyes off the screen.  
'No reason.' Howard lied. 'Right, we'll see you later, then. Do you need some popcorn or anything before we go? I could whip you up a quick quiche or something.'  
Bollo shook his head. 'No, Bollo is fine. Thank you, Howard.'


	2. Chapter 2

Naboo unfolded the scented parchment, realising that he'd never seen Aniza's handwriting before, and that it was rather like she was - delicate, slightly messy, and a bit frilly.  
He half-hoped that this was a letter telling him of the end of her marriage and that she wanted to pick things up where they'd left off.  
It was selfish, yes, but he couldn't help it. Aniza had left quite the mark on his heart, and he couldn't help but think that they were meant to be together.  
Naboo shook his head, trying not to let the mush seep into his brain too much. He didn't need to start slipping back into the feelings he still had for Aniza.  
He cleared his mind, then began to read.

'Salutations, my dear Naboo,  
I have wanted to write to you so many times since we'd parted, yet it was not possible - it would have been inappropriate.  
Yet, I must write now. I must ask of you a great favour, and I will understand if you refuse.  
This is far from the best way to do this, but there is no other way; shortly after I left to marry Oscric, I learnt I was with child.'

Naboo paused here, realising what it was Aniza must be about to ask.  
But, there was no place here for a baby! Not to mention the time he would have to take away from his shamanic duties, how Howard and Vince would impact the child's upbringing, and a number of other potential issues.  
Sure, he'd had to raise Howard and Vince with the help of Bollo after the whole Fountain of Youth incident, but it was only a matter of weeks before they were back to normal.  
This would be entirely different.  
He forced himself out of his thoughts and back to reading.

'There is not much time left to me before the baby will come, and it will be obvious it is not his. As punishment, the child and I will be put to death.  
I ask only for shelter until the baby is born, nothing more.   
Please, Naboo, will you let me stay until then?

Be well, Naboo,  
Aniza'

Naboo hadn't a clue what he felt; there were far too many emotions whirring inside of him to choose which one more or less summed everything up.  
All he knew was that he felt a bit sick.  
Naboo set the letter on his bed, and went into the kitchen in search of some club soda.  
Along with his stomach, he needed to let the letter's contents settle.

 

Howard and Vince had been trying for a great new crimp to blow everyone away at the Velvet Onion that Friday, and had come up with bupkiss.  
It was strange.  
Usually, the crimps flowed out of them like drool from a mastiff, but this time no matter how hard they tried, the word just didn't sync.  
'Let's just take a break, that's all we need.' Howard suggested, sitting on his part of the bunk bed.  
Vince sighed. 'I don't think a break's going to save us... But, I could do with a sandwich.'  
'Come on, I'll make you a cheese toastie just the way you like.' Howard told him, getting to his feet.

 

The boys entered the kitchen to find Naboo sitting cross-legged on the countertop and sipping a glass of club soda.  
'Everything all right, Naboo?' Howard asked, noting that Naboo was somehow paler than usual. And, that was saying something.  
Naboo blinked slowly, as if he were coming out of a stupor. 'Huh?'  
'I don't think he is.' Vince said, brows knitting together. He reached for the bag of bread and took a few slices out, setting them on a plate.  
'Can I make you a nice toastie?' Howard offered Naboo, who shook his head.  
'Nah, m'not hungry. Thanks, anyway.' Naboo replied, taking a slurp of his drink. 'Bollo still watchin' telly, then?'  
'I think so. Want me to go get him?' Vince asked, as Howard began making their snacks.  
'Just wonderin' is all.' Naboo said, regretting not taking his drink back to his room.  
He wasn't feeling up to company at the moment.

'What's eating at you, Naboo?' Vince asked, leaning against the counter opposite Naboo.  
Naboo sighed.  
'That bad, eh?' Howard asked, putting the sandwiches in the frying pan. 'Some girl got you down?' He teased, trying to lighten things up.  
'In a matter of speakin'.' Naboo answered.  
There was no point in lying about it, and now was just as good a time as any to talk about things.  
Howard and Vince were silent for a moment.  
Naboo wasn't one to share things that were so personal, and how bothered he seemed to be made this all the more serious.  
Howard realised the toasties were beginning to burn, and quickly flipped them. 'If you need to talk, we're here for you, Naboo.'  
Naboo half-smiled. The boys could be absolute twits at times, especially Howard, but they were like family.  
'I know.' He said, feeling just a little better.   
Howard plated the sandwiches.   
'I've got some crisps to go with those if you want.' Naboo offered, this being something of an invitation.  
Vince nodded. 'Yeah, that'd be great.'


	3. Chapter 3

As the boys ate, Naboo knew his decision about Aniza. He hadn't had to consider it.  
Of course, she could stay. There was enough room, and while it might be awkward, he was glad to have the chance to spend even a bit more time with her. Even if they weren't meant to be.  
'So, a girl, huh?' Vince asked with a grin, unable to help himself.  
'Er, yeah...' Naboo answered, getting ready to rip off the proverbial bandage. 'And, she'll be stayin' a while. She's just a girl, not mine.'  
'She was, though, yeah?' Vince asked, certain of this.  
Howard nudged him, signaling him to shut up.  
'S'fine Howard. And, yeah, but s'all a bit complicated.' Naboo answered. 'The thing is, she's pregnant, an' I don't want you guys making a big deal out of any o' this.'  
Both Howard and Vince were surprised at this.  
'Once the baby's born, she'll be leavin'. Just doin' a favour is all.' Naboo told them, a hint of disappointment coming through in his tone.

'Right, okay, is there anything you need help with for her stay? Getting a room ready, extra groceries?' Howard asked, deciding it best not to ask questions.   
If Naboo wanted to share something else, he would. He only hoped Vince would feel the same.  
'Dunno.' Naboo answered. 'M'still getting used to the idea, t'be honest.'  
Howard gave him an understanding smile.  
'Is it yours?' Vince asked, earning himself a dirty look from Howard. 'What? You're curious, too, I know you are.'  
'That's beside the point, Vince, there are some questions you shouldn't ask. Didn't your mum ever teach you that?' Howard asked, and Vince shrugged.  
He didn't see anything wrong with asking, but knew he had to say something or else Howard would stay annoyed with him.  
'I was only teasing, Naboo.' Vince lied.

It was then that Bollo walked past the bedroom, grumbling all the way about King Kong.  
'I'd best go check on 'im.' Naboo said with a sigh, not looking forward. 'I told Bollo to watch somethin' else, but he would go an' do it anyway...'  
Howard grabbed the plates, brushing the toast crumbs off the bed, and took Vince's hand and led him out of the room.

 

It had taken some time to get Bollo settled down enough that he would actually sleep.  
Otherwise, the gorilla would probably have spent half the night tidying and reorganising, which he tended to do when he couldn't sleep.  
Unfortunately, Bollo wasn't exactly careful not to make noise, and ended up keeping everyone else awake, too.

Afterward, Naboo went back to his room and wrote back to Aniza, letting her know she could come to stay whenever she needed to, and for however long she liked.  
He sent it off straight afterward, using an ancient spell which was used by shamen mainly before interplanetary postal had been set up.  
Then, Naboo did his best to get some sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Knocking.

 

Naboo could hear it clearly, and far too loudly for his liking.  
He groaned, hoping this was just a part of his dream.  
But, then there came more knocking and he knew he was definitely awake.  
He rolled out of his nice, warm bed and slouched over to the door, opening it to find Howard looking down at him before looking away rather quickly.

 

'Your guest has arrived... You might want to consider getting dressed and coming down. I've made her a cup of tea and settled in the den.' Howard explained. 'I'm pretty sure she's going to need a bit of help getting off the sofa.'

 

Naboo hadn't expected Aniza to come this soon, only mere hours after sending his reply to her. In a day, perhaps two, yes. But, this was so sudden that nothing was ready.  
Naboo sighed. He was too tired for this right now.

 

'Yeah, all right, I'll be out in a jif.' He said with a yawn. 'What time is it, anyway?'  
'Quarter after five.' Howard answered.  
No wonder he looked so rumpled, Naboo thought.  
'Sorry, Howard. I had no idea she'd come so quick, an' at this hour...' Naboo apologised, feeling bad about it.  
'Don't worry about it, I was up already; Vince has been tossing and turning the past couple of hours, and I haven't had any sleep since.' Howard replied. 'I'll go let her know you'll be right down.'  
'Thanks.' Naboo said.

 

 

Fully dressed, Naboo made his way to the den.  
Aniza looked as beautiful as ever, with her hair loosely draping over her back and chest.  
Her growing belly somehow came as a bit of a shock, despite expecting it.

 

She turned and smiled warmly at him, and Naboo instantly felt as if everything was absolutely perfect. For a moment, at least.  
Howard got up from his seat, gave them a nod, and left them alone.  
'You look exactly the same, Naboo!' Aniza greeted him happily.  
Naboo grinned. 'Can't say the same for you.'  
Aniza laughed softly. 'Oh, I know... My poor hips. And, my tummy will never be the same!'  
Naboo felt his heart flutter in his chest. This felt too good.  
He couldn't let himself feel this way, or else he'd end up with his heart broken again.  
He cleared his throat. 'I didn't think you'd be here so soon. Nothin's ready for you yet...'

 

Aniza looked embarassed. 'I am so sorry, I should have been more thoughtful.'  
'Well, t'be fair, I did say to come whenever.' Naboo told her, not wanting her to feel bad. 'It won't take too long, really. I c'n start in a few hours, after Vince wakes up.'  
'Your other servant?' Aniza asked.  
Naboo shook his head. 'Nah, I don't keep servants, they're my mates. And, they work in the shop f'r me.'  
Aniza nodded, and then silence fell.

 

It was an uncomfortable quiet, one which left them oth fidgeting.  
Suddenly, a realisation struck Naboo after something Vince had said earlier crept into his brain - 'Is it yours?'  
The question echoed in his mind, and Naboo couldn't help but have just a niggling doubt in the very, very back of his mind.  
'You look quite thoughtful.' Aniza remarked, breaking the silence.   
Naboo looked into her eyes, which were even darker than his own. 'So... This baby... Why d'ya fink it won't look like whatzisface?'  
Aniza's eyes widened for a moment, before she pressed her lips together.  
'I mean, what's gonna tip 'im off?' Naboo asked, not sounding mean, but earnestly curious.

 

Aniza looked nervous, and Naboo really began to wonder.  
'I must admit something to you,' she began, her voice less steady than before. 'While I had officially learnt of the pregnancy after I left you, I know that the baby cannot be yours; there were some signs before we 'knew' each other, though I hadn't realised it at the time.'  
Naboo didn't know why, but he felt gutted to learn that the baby wasn't his.  
He'd just been coming to terms with the fact that he had helped to create a life, and now Aniza was telling him this wasn't true at all?  
Naboo stayed quiet, not knowing what to say.

'I'm sorry that I misled you, I... I didn't know what to do. This is all such a mess!' Aniza began to cry.  
'Who is the dad?' Naboo managed tonelessly, trying to distance himself from feeling anything too strongly.  
Aniza sniffled. 'I don't know his name. All I know is that he's a shaman, like you. Couldn't stop complaining about someone called Tony Harrison.'  
Naboo groaned. 'You've got to be kidding me.'  
Aniza bit her lip, feeling incredibly guilty.  
Naboo blinked a few times, trying to stay calm.  
No wonder it would be obvious the kid wasn't her husband's. Sure, the skin tone would be easy enough to explain, but the baby's hair would be another story.

'I know exactly the twat you're talkin' about.' Naboo told her. 'Maybe you should ask him for help. I c'n help you contact 'im an' all.'  
Aniza awallowed hard. 'I... I was hoping to stay with you, Naboo.'  
None of this was going the way it was supposed to, and Naboo was feeling awfully frustrated.  
'If he won't help, then I will.' Naboo stated evenly, wanting to be fair about this. 'But, only if he won't.'  
Aniza blinked, her lip quivering as she tried to keep from crying harder. 'I'm sorry.'  
'Me, too, Aniza.' Naboo replied honestly.


	5. Chapter 5

As much as it had pained Naboo to do it, he'd gone and arranged a meeting with Saboo.  
And, late that morning he arrived, looking very like a crow as he always did dressed in his customarily black clothing.

Naboo hadn't told him much at all, preferring to spring it all on him.  
Needless to say, his jaw had dropped at the sight of Aniza.  
'Please, sit down, Saboo.' Naboo told him, gesturing for him to take a seat at the dining room table across from Aniza, who was red in the face.  
She felt humiliated, absolutely humiliated.  
'Anita, right?' Saboo asked, having no clue what she was doing here at a meeting between himself and Naboo (which was strange enough as it was - it was no secret that they didn't get on)  
'Aniza.' She corrected him.  
Naboo sat down with them. 'Aniza, d'you want to start?'

 

Aniza took a deep breath. 'Well, I... Em, well...' This was much harder to do in person, rather than being able to conveniently write it down. This was much more complicated. 'I'm in a spot of trouble, actually... You see, I'm a princess and I married a prince. Well, naturally...'

Saboo frowned, wondering what on earth this could possibly be about.

'Anyway, to get to the point, my everyone is expecting any children to be his progeny and the first one won't be.'

Her words were not coming out as she'd have liked, and that was making this all the harder for it.

She stood up, exposing her abdomen. 'This is not his baby. It's yours.'

 

Saboo very nearly choked. 'I'm sorry, what?'

'You knocked 'er up.' Naboo clarified bluntly. 'Guess this is a bit of your famous 'Crunch'.'

Aniza sat back down, feeling vaguely sick to her stomach.

'How far along are you?' Saboo asked.

'Six months or so.'

Saboo sighed. He had been her first, and the timing was right.

This was new for him. He wasn't much of one to sleep around, and had never considered so much as the thought of having kids.

'What do you want from me?' He asked, hoping it wasn't money, because he didn't have all that much.

'I just need a place to stay until the baby comes.' Aniza explained.

Saboo frowned. 'And, then what? What's going to happen to the kid?'

Aniza had already arranged for it to be taken in by a group of nuns on Hari, a planet on the edge of the universe.  
After all, no men ever raised children alone. Not where she was from, anyway. 'The child would be put up for adoption.'

Saboo made a noise in the back of his throat.  
He was handling this much better than Naboo would have guessed.  
'You haven't looked at prospective parents? You're just going to leave him in some orphanage or something?'

Aniza raised a brow. 'That is how such unfortunate children get homes, isn't it?'

Saboo looked unimpressed. 'Some of them.'

Naboo noted the change in Saboo's tone; there was something of pain in his voice now. 

'Since I'm the father, I'll take you in and make sure you have everything you need, but you're going to find a decent home for that baby.' Saboo said, his eyes boring into hers.

'I've already found a nice place with the nuns on Hari, and there are many wonderful couples there who would want to adopt this baby.' Aniza told him. 'Besides, I can't go around advertising my situation! I'll be killed if I'm found out, you must realise this.'

'Fine, then I'll find a home.' Saboo decided.

After all that he'd gone through growing up in an orphanage, he wasn't about to let some poor kid end up in the same situation


	6. Chapter 6

Meanwhile, Howard and Vince were down in the shop trying out a new crimp.

Vince began with a 'See the screaming of the Monkey,  
I think he's angry at the zinky.'

And, Howard joined in with 'He finds it hard to see the rumble,  
Overshadowed by the big cymbal.'

They went smoothly on in unison, completely tuned in to each other.

'Who is that squeaking near the jungle?  
I think she'd like to eat the mungle.

She is but a fuzzy Monkey,  
Admired as she sits upon a junkie.

Her loud car is just an owl,  
It needs no gas, it runs on waterfowl.

She's not alone she brings a mumble,  
a pet giraffe, and lots of gimbal.

The giraffe likes to chase a hippo,  
Especially one that's in the lippo.

The Monkey shudders at the happy tree  
He want to leave but she wants the knee.'

 

'That was great!' Vince beamed, gesturing with his hands. 'Probably the best one we've come up with for a while. Everyone'll love it!'

Howard agreed. 'Yeah, it is pretty good...'

Vince nodded. 'Think it'll be enough to follow after Ignatious? He has been getting fairly popular down the Onion lately. Don't want him stealing our spotlight.'

Howard thought about it a moment, considering their crimp's quality.

'Yes, sir, I do, sir.' Howard answered confidently. 'Ignatious won't have a thing on us tomorrow night.'

Vince looked pleased, but his face dropped when Bob Fossil walked in.

'What d'you want?' Vince asked, half-sneering. 'Would've thought you'd be busy with chin boy, getting him all puffed up for tomorrow.'

Bob waved a hand in the air, making a loud, wet fart sound with his mouth. 'Nah, it's in the bag. Iggy's gonna blow the crowd away with his... Well, you don't need to know about that. But, know this; there'll be a little wager taking place this week between the two of youse and whoever loses gets to clean up the club for the next couple of weeks.'

'What?' Howard asked, as Vince stood there with his hands on his narrow hips. 'You can't do that.'

Bob laughed. 'Oh yeah?'

'Yeah, pretty sure that's not legal.' Howard stated, raising a brow.

Bob squinted his eyes to try and make them look smaller, repeating Howard's words in a mocking tone. 'Anyway, just thought I'd drop by and tell you the news. Bye.'

And, with that, he left.

'I guess we don't have much choice.' Vince said, shrugging. 'Not that we have much to worry about.'

Howard shook his head. 'You do realise the only reason he's done this is the janitors have all gone on strike, don't you?'

Vince grinned. 'I don't care. It's not us who'll be stuck with the push broom and cleaning the toilets.' 

 

 

With the matter having been worked out, Saboo headed back to his place alone to make preparations for Aniza's stay - for her, as well as himself.

Saboo wasn't overly fond of people to begin with, and had lived alone for the past seventeen years of his life.

It would take mere minutes to cast the simple expanding spell which would transform his humble one bedroom house into something a bit roomier.

But, the sudden news that he was apparently going to be a father (until he had solid proof, he wasn't about to fully believe Aniza's claims) had done a number on his head.

Aniza had been a lot of fun when there had been lulls on the long trip the shamen had taken to celebrate finding out the gender of the Head Shaman's unborn child.

Rather ironic, actually.

It had been nearly a decade since Saboo had even had sex, and once he finally had, he'd ended up (possibly) impregnating a woman on a vacation celebrating learning the gender of his boss' kid.

Saboo sighed, driving his purple carpet back to Xooberon, wondering how he was going to go about finding a home for a baby.

This was all so far from his area of expertise...


	7. Chapter 7

With the matter having been worked out, Saboo headed back to his place alone to make preparations for Aniza's stay - for her, as well as himself.

Saboo wasn't overly fond of people to begin with, and had lived alone for the past seventeen years of his life.

It would take mere minutes to cast the simple expanding spell which would transform his humble one bedroom house into something a bit roomier.

But, the sudden news that he was apparently going to be a father (until he had solid proof, he wasn't about to fully believe Aniza's claims) had done a number on his head.

Aniza had been a lot of fun when there had been lulls on the long trip the shamen had taken to celebrate finding out the gender of the Head Shaman's unborn child.

Rather ironic, actually.

It had been nearly a decade since Saboo had even had sex, and once he finally had, he'd ended up (possibly) impregnating a woman on a vacation celebrating learning the gender of his boss' kid.

Saboo sighed, driving his purple carpet back to Xooberon, wondering how he was going to go about finding a home for a baby.

This was all so far from his area of expertise...

 

After the shop had closed for the day, Howard and Vince had gone upstairs for a snack and to come up with a couple more crimps.   
The crowd would doubtless want more, and how could they deny their public?

But, at the sight of Aniza sitting with Bollo in the den with King Kong playing, they decided against the snack and rushed past to their bedroom.

Bollo would be going on about Peter and his 'huge mistake' of not hiring him, plus every little thing he could find to complain about.

They didn't want to be stopped and be subjected to that.

 

'That can't be good.' Howard remarked. 'Bollo's been obsessing over that film, and now he's rewatching it? I don't like where this is going.'

'I know what you mean.' Vince said, brows knitting together. 'Remember that time he did this over Planet of the Apes? It was a good few months before he was back to normal.'

Howard cringed, recalling that time frame.

'Dunno what would've happened if Naboo hadn't been able to pull him out of it.' Vince continued. 'I was getting pretty sure Bollo had lost it, and wasn't going to find it again.'

'Maybe it won't be so bad this time.' Howard said hopefully.

'If he starts making bloody powerpoint presentations about flippin' King Kong, I'm gonna stay over at Lachlan's 'til he gets back to reality.' Vince vowed.

'I suppose I'd be able to visit Lester for a while. Might be fun, talking about some of our favourite vintage jazz records and that...' Howard remarked, thinking he might try for a stay even if Bollo didn't slip further into the King Kong obsession.

'Sounds electric, now if we could get down to business?' Vince asked, getting bored.

Howard's eyes glinted. 'I don't mind if I do.' He said slyly, taking off his shirt.

Vince tried to look annoyed and failed. 

'Are you leaving it up to me to take your clothes off?' Howard asked, taking a step toward him.

Vince chuckled. 'Get off!' He told Howard, who was reaching to unzip the tight red jumpsuit. 'We need to focus on getting a couple more crimps together.'

Howard licked his lower lip. 'We could do that. Sure, we could.' He said, leaning in to taste Vince's lips.

He could smell the cotton candy lipgloss Vince was wearing, and it drove him all the closer for it.

Vince knew once he caved (and he would, he never could resist Howard) that any other plans would be put on hold.

'Let's play a game.' Vince suggested. 'We come up with a decent crimp, and I'll let you do a little something for me. Come up with another, and I'll do something for you I've never done before that will ruin you for anyone else.'

Howard couldn't say this didn't sound intriguing. 'Like what?'

Vince grinned wickedly. 'If I told you, this wouldn't be half as fun.'

Howard licked his lip again, a few suggestive thoughts popping into his head. 'All right, it's on.'

'Just remember, they have to be good enough for tomorrow night or there'll be no reward.' Vince warned.

'And, if they're better than good? What then?' Howard asked, his voice huskier than before.

Vince only grinned before launching into a crimp with Howard jumping in on the second word.

'Who is that mooing near the horse?  
I think she'd like to eat the magnetic force.

She is but a goofy lady,  
Admired as she sits upon a mady.

Her fast car is just a hammer,  
It needs no gas, it runs on grammer.

She's not alone she brings a snail,  
a pet deer, and lots of horsetail.

The deer likes to chase a ghost,  
Especially one that's in the moste.'

 

Vince cocked his head. 'We've done a lot better than that.'

Howard squirmed where he stood.

'No wonder our rhythym is off.' Vince stated, noting Howard's tented trousers.

Howard cleared his throat. 'That would be your fault, sir.' 

Vince crossed his arms. 'Oh, is it, now?' He closed the gap between them, locking his lips to Howards in one fluid motion.

Howard's eyes closed as he tasted Vince's sweet lipgloss, felt those large hands slip down his naked back and down to grip his arse.

He couldn't help but let out a small noise as his cock began to throb with need, feeling Vince's lips curl upwards against his own.

Vince undid Howard's trousers, sliding the beige y-fronts down for the reveal.

He knelt down, taking Howard into his mouth and down into his throat.

Howard whimpered, leaning against the wall for support.

Vince swallowed, before bobbing his head a few times, then letting Howard slip out of his mouth with a distinct 'pop'.

He took a velvet soft testicle into his mouth and hummed.

Howard nearly choked at the incredible sensation; it was new, and nothing like he'd experienced before.

Vince could feel Howard's balls begin to tighten, and he stopped abruptly.

Howard's face was contorted with pure need, and Vince was rather enjoying the sight as he looked up.

He got to his feet, and Howard immediately removed Vince's jumpsuit with slightly shaking hands before leading him to his bunk and taking control of the situation.

 

 

Aniza had barely said a word after what had transpired.

She had sat silently through King Kong, and had stayed sitting on the sofa long after Bollo had lumbered off to bake some brownies.

Taking pity, Naboo had brought her a ham and swiss sandwich, thinking that she must have been hungry.

Aniza had taken the small plate, and had just held it for a few minutes after taking it from Naboo.

She seemed kind of... Broken.

Naboo sat beside her. 'It'll work out somehow.' He tried, not really sure of what to say but doing his best to improvise.

Aniza scoffed. 'I really made a mess of things this time.' She said, her voice soft and quiet.

'Life's like that; one mess after another, an' you just hafta keep tryin' to sort it out.' Naboo said, having enough messy experiences to know this well.

Aniza looked at him, feeling exhausted and hopeless. 'Except that my life was all planned out, no detail left out - the only reason any of this happened is because I chose to ignore what I was meant to do and did what I had wanted to do.'

She tossed her hair behind her shoulders.

'I ran off to have some freedom before getting married. I had no idea what I would do, I just did what I wanted when I wanted.' She finished, feeling stupid.

 

Naboo thought he could understand. 'Must be tough, bein' a princess.'

Aniza gave him a half-smile. 'In some ways.' She bit her lip. 'Naboo, I'm sorry for dragging you into all this. But, I'm glad to have met you.'

Naboo smiled and adjusted his turban. 'We did have a lot of fun.'

Aniza laughed. 'I still can't believe we borrowed that lunasial dragon to go on a midnight ride!'

Naboo chuckled. 'That was pretty great. Not as great as the hot tub, or the forest, or the ferris wheel. But, pretty great.'

Aniza blushed, looking happy for a minute or two before her face fell again. 'I know it is selfish, but I do not want the life everyone else wants me to have; so many people would kill to have what I do, and yet I am miserable.'

Naboo frowned. 'What would you do if you weren't a princess, er, queen?'

'Whatever it is that peasants do; work, make friends, cook for myself, adopt a dog... Just those boring, everyday things that most people do.' Aniza answered. 'My life has become fixed around my husband, and the rest of my life will boil down to obeying him, having and raising children. That is what a Queen does, at least where I am from... But, this is what I was born to do. There has never been another life meant for me to have.'

Naboo swallowed, the tone of Aniza's voice making his heart ache.

'Wouldn't you miss your family if you could leave?' Naboo asked, absentmindedly picking at a piece of lint stuck to the couch cushion he was sitting on.

'Of course, but I don't get to see them anymore as it is. I'm... Not allowed to.' Aniza said bitterly. 'My king does not like my family.'

Naboo didn't like the sound of this at all. 'What if you didn't have to go back?'

Aniza blinked.

'Does anyone else know that you're here?' Naboo asked, an idea forming.

Aniza shook her head. 'I was careful to ensure nobody would be aware of my leaving. I had left a note, though it simply stated I needed some time away and would return soon.'

Naboo nodded solemnly.

'You do realise I must go back? There is no other choice.' Aniza told him, sounding disappointed. 'There will be people looking for me, and it won't take all that long before they find me. A couple of months, perhaps; enough time to have the baby, heal, and then go back.'

'Actually, you don't have t'go back.' Naboo corrected her. 'It's your choice - I can help, if y'want.'

Aniza bit her lip, looking unsure. 'I've already asked too much of you.'

'You're not askin' me fer anythin', I'm offerin.' Naboo pointed out. 'An', it would be pretty easy, too.'

Aniza wanted to say 'yes', wanted someone to save her...

'S'up to you.' Naboo said.


	8. Chapter 8

Saboo had had some much needed time to think as he'd traveled home, accepting his situation and doing his best to keep in control.

He could do this. All he needed was to stay calm, think, and be patient; this was a big thing to deal with, but Saboo knew he could manage.

After he'd made his small home into a two-storey house with the upper portion serving as a seperate residence entirely, Saboo only had to take care of conjuring up the necessities for Aniza; furniture, appliances, and some comfort items.

Before long, everything was done. All he needed was to bring Aniza over.

That was the thing he was dreading.

Saboo didn't want the company, and certainly not hers; small talk, the awkwardness of their circumstances, the impending birth...

He liked having his own space - the privacy, the quiet, that joy of being as naked as he wanted as much as he wanted. Living alone was awesome.

 

Saboo enjoyed a simple home life - his work life was complicated, so having a nice, easy home life was something that was important to him.

And, now, the Crunch had unloaded all over it.

He took a few cleansing breaths, and then concentrated on forming a mental link with Naboo.

Forty seconds later, he heard Naboo's voice in his head.

'Yeah?'

'If she's ready, send her over.' Saboo thought.

'We're sorta in the middle of somethin', could we try this again in maybe twenty minutes?' Naboo asked.

Saboo rolled his eyes. 'Sure, why not?' He replied, sounding annoyed.

'Great.'

Then, the connection was severed.

 

'Uh...uh...ooh!' Vince moaned into Howard's pillow, his arse being pounded into oblivion. 'MMMF!'

Howard wasn't holding back. 

After a bit of a rest, it was round two, and he was intent on making Vince beg for mercy.

Every time Vince had been on the brink, Howard had reigned himself in.

He slowed his thrusts until he was barely moving, causing Vince to gyrate his hips desperately.

Howard gave one long thrust, his entire length inside of Vince.

Vince cried out.

'More.' Vince mumbled, his entire body slick with perspiration.

Howard gave another single thrust, then slowly pulled out.

Vince's brow wrinkled, he was positively aching for release.

Howard tongued Vince's pretty pink hole until he was squirming with need.

'Howard, please!' Vince moaned, arching his back.

'Please, what?' Howard asked, slipping a couple of fingers inside.

Vince adjusted his hips so that Howard's fingers were at the perfect angle to brush against that wonderful spot.

Howard took his fingers back out, making Vince whimper. 'Please, what?'

Vince looked back at Howard, looking gorgeously disheveled. 'Please, fuck me.'

Howard smirked. 'I'm sorry, what was that?'

Vince grunted carnally as Howard gently cupped his heavy balls.

'Bloody hell, Howard, will you just fuck me already?!' Vince demanded. 'Now, get in there and make me come.'

Howard had wanted this to last longer, but he had to admit that he wanted to do just that.

'Are you sure that's what you want?' Howard teased, situating himself.

'Howard!' 

Howard chuckled, entering Vince forefully, his balls slapping against Vince's with a 'snap'.

Vince mmm'd and ahh'd, his delayed orgasm thundering toward him.

Howard wondered if he was going to last long enough to give Vince what he needed.

The intensity of incredible sensation tore through them like a powerful storm, overtaking them in the most delicious of ways.

His hips moved as fast as he could manage, and as Vince's load spilt all over the bedsheets, Howard's shot into Vince.

Fully spent, and drenched in sweat, the last thing they wanted was to move at all.

They could shower later, but there was no way they were going to lay there on wet, sticky sheets.

'Come on, let's move to my bed.' Vince encouraged, and Howard followed Vince up the ladder to his bunk, where they fell asleep cuddled up together.

 

'Well, I am a shaman, y'know.' Naboo said, as if she'd forgotten.

'You wouldn't get into trouble?' Aniza asked, letting herself feel hopeful.

Naboo wasn't sure. Of course, it was a possibility, but it wasn't as if he could just ask Dennis. Nobody could know. Nobody.

'It'd be fine.' Naboo told her reassuringly, willing to take the risk.

'Just one bottle of that potion. That's all it will take?' She asked, wanting to be clear.

'One bottle, or five doses, and you will be unrecognisable.' Naboo confirmed. 'You wouldn't even know yourself.'

'Can you control what I'd look like after?' Aniza asked, trying not to be vain.

Naboo gave a small shrug. 'Dunno, really, I never tried this before... Theoretically, yeah, I fink so.'

Aniza nodded slowly. 

'It's your decision.' Naboo reminded her. 'But, I can't change you back if you change your mind.'

Aniza knew what she wanted, and to have it so unexpectedly offered was something of a shock.

'Oh, an' I almost forgot to tell you, whenever you're ready, Saboo's waiting for you.' Naboo added, sounding slightly regretful.

Aniza blew out a breath. 'Must I go?'

Naboo looked torn. 'It is his baby, and the two of you should figure out what t'do about it. Especially considerin' you might not even go back to your old life... Y'might want t'keep it. Or, he might.'

Aniza's eyes misted over. This was all so horribly complicated. 'I want to stay here, I want to stay with you.'

Naboo's breath caught in his throat.

Sure, he liked Aniza, but he barely knew here. Even if he had been infatuated with her, he had to admit to himself that they hadn't spent all that much time together.

'I'm sorry, but you an' Saboo hafta work this out.' He replied, needing to distance himself from this. 'I'm barely involved.'

Aniza reacted as if she'd been slapped. 

'I'm just some guy you slept with a few times on holiday. That's all.' Naboo said factually. 'If you stay, then I'm gonna fall for you again, and...'

'And, what?' Aniza asked softly.

Saboo's voice popped into his head again. 'She ready yet?'

Naboo closed his eyes briefly. 'Yeah, she's on her way.' He said, before disconnecting.

'Saboo's gone and made everythin' ready on his end, you can go anytime.' Naboo informed her. 

'I fell for you, too, you know.' Aniza admitted. 'I felt this amazing energy when we were together, the kind of energy I was told about when I was a little girl... It signifies that you have found a compatible mate. It's never wrong.'

Naboo hadn't heard this sort of thing before, and the look of confusion on his face must've shown, because Aniza went on.

'Only the women on my planet have this ability, and whenever marriages are struck because of it, there are never seperations.' Aniza explained, needing him to understand. 'You are my match.'

Naboo felt like this was straight out of a dream.

'Please, Naboo, let me stay.' Aniza pleaded, taking his hand with hers and holding it gently.

'What about the baby?' Naboo asked.

'If Saboo does not want it, then...' Aniza began, trailing off.

Naboo gave her an encouraging look. 

'I do not know.' Aniza answered, feeling terrible because she did not want it. She wanted it to be safe, and to have a good life, but not to keep it.

'You don't want kids, do you?' Naboo asked neutrally.

She hung her head in shame. 'No.'

'Hey, that's all right, no big deal.' Naboo told her soothingly, giving her hand a squeeze. 'Parenthood's not f'r everyone.'

Aniza looked at him quizically. She'd never heard of anyone who didn't think that every woman was supposed to become a doting mother.

'S'all right, I get it. Kids aren't my bag, either.' Naboo said. 'I mean they're okay, but I wouldn't want one hangin' round all the time.'

Aniza looked relieved to find someone like herself. 

'Look, if you really wanna stay, you can. For a while at least.' Naboo decided. 'See how it goes.'

Aniza smiled. 'Thank-you, Naboo!' She wanted to hug him, but didn't. She didn't want to push things.

'S'nothin'' He replied. 'I'll talk to Saboo, let him know what's goin' on. Then, we can get a room sorted for you.'

 

'You've got to be joking.' Saboo complained. 'You call me over, so I travel a good four and a half hours to your shitty little place to be told I'm going to be a father to a half-royal kid. And, then, I decide to house this princess or whatever I've knocked up til she pops, so I rush back to get everything ready for her, only to find out she's not coming.' 

'Yeah, sorry 'bout that.' Naboo apologised awkwardly. 'There's just one more thing; she doesn't want the baby, an' you did say you'd find a home for it.'

Saboo couldn't believe his ears. 'So, I'm still on the hook for finding a home for the little orphan.'

'Well, it is your baby, too... She did find that convent an' all, so I guess she could just do that.' Naboo reminded.

Saboo stopped and considered this. It was his baby, too.

He sat down, the realisation fully hitting him.

For some reason, he hadn't truly thought about that part before.

'You still there?' 

'I'm here.' Saboo answered. 'I'll still find a place.'

'Great, I'll let her know.' Naboo said, wondering at the change in Saboo's tone. It was gentler somehow.

'I'll be in touch.' Saboo said, before ending their conversation.


	9. Chapter 9

Aniza's room had been made up, and the potion had been brewed over three days, with specific stirring methods and incantations being periodically used throughout the process.  
Once the thick purple liquid had matured for five days, Aniza had taken her first dose.  
Nothing happened, other than a darkening of her hair.  
'Looks good on you.' Naboo told her as they sat at the kitchen table, enjoying cups of cinnamon chai after breakfast.  
Aniza toyed with a stray lock of her hair, not sure if she liked it. But, change was needed if she didn't want to end up back in her old life.  
Howard had wandered in, wearing one of Vince's robes which just covered his junk. 'Ah... I thought everyone else was still asleep...'   
It was just a bit after seven, and usually Howard was the first to wake by at least an hour.  
His face burnt red, as Aniza averted her eyes.  
'I'll, er, come back.' Howard mumbled, making a hasty retreat.   
Naboo shook his head. 'I didn't need t'see that.'  
Aniza muffled her giggles, not wanting to make Howard feel even worse.

 

Meanwhile, Saboo had been struggling with this bit of Crunch he'd ended up with.  
Growing up in an orphanage had not been a warm and nurturing environment, and Saboo had developed a deep mistrust and dislike of others by the time he was five years old.  
It had been a place where hunger, sickness, and punishment were constant.   
He'd often wondered why his parents hadn't wanted him, why they would have left him in such a terrible place.  
And, that was why he couldn't allow Aniza to just abandon the child at some convent that took in unwanted offspring.  
It was also why he was actually considering taking care of it himself.  
After all, he was apparently the father.   
But, raising a kid was a massive responsibility... And, so much of what would come with it was beyond anything he'd have previously dealt with.

As he sat in his chair, staring off and thinking hard, Saboo couldn't find many reasons why he should keep the baby.  
He had no experience with kids, wasn't the nicest guy around, would have to curb his shamanic work, would have to alter his home... Saboo was finding it difficult to list even five reasons why he should take this on.  
Yet, somewhere deep inside of himself, he could feel a strange sort of longing to do it.  
Saboo couldn't explain it, and certainly didn't understand it.  
But, having gone over the entire thing in his head numerous times already, he'd always come down to the same conclusion - he wanted to be a dad.  
Was it the right thing to do? He hadn't a clue.  
Perhaps it would have helped to talk to someone about it, but there weren't many people he knew well enough to have real talk with.  
And, there was no way it was going to be with that anaemic little twerp Naboo.  
Saboo got out of his chair, stretching his back.  
He couldn't stand being stuck inside like this another minute. He grabbed his carpet, went outside and unfurled it, setting off to nowhere in particular.

Nowhere in particular turned out to be Dennis' mansion.  
Dennis had graciously invited him in, offering him lunch.  
'I'm not all that hungry, thanks.' Saboo had said.  
'You look awful.' Dennis had remarked as they headed to the den.  
Saboo knew he was right; he hadn't changed clothes in two days, had barely slept and couldn't eat, he hadn't shaved and his hair was uncombed.  
'You're lucky, you only just missed Methuselah. She'd been in quite the mood lately.' Dennis said, glad to have her out of the house for a while.   
She wasn't overly happy to have been found out about her cheating. Again.  
'I was about to go for a swim when you arrived. Care to join me?' Dennis asked, thinking the healing spring water would do Saboo good.  
Saboo didn't really care one way or the other. 'All right.'  
'Good man.' Dennis said, clapping him on the shoulder. 

The water was soothing, and did make Saboo feel refreshed if nothing else.  
'It seems to me that your call to fatherly duties is clear enough.' Dennis said carefully, after hearing what it was that Saboo had to say. 'Besides, if it truly is your child, then you owe it that much.'  
Saboo nodded. 'That's exactly what I've been thinking, only...'  
'Only it will change every single aspect of your life forever, and you're scared shitless.' Dennis continued for him, giving Saboo a knowing look.  
Saboo nodded.  
'Fair enough.' Dennis said. 'I was the same way when I learnt Methuselah was pregnant. I'd even considered leaving her, to be honest.'  
Saboo was surprised to hear this. He'd always known Dennis to be level-headed and good at handling the unexpected.  
Dennis looked slightly uncomfortable, never having admitted that to anyone before. 'Not one of my better moments, I know. But, all of that uncertainty, even fear... I think that's pretty normal, Saboo. And, for what it's worth, I think you'd be a good father.'  
Saboo swallowed hard, feeling lightheaded. 'I... That is...'  
Dennis gave him an understanding smile. 'Whatever you decide, remember that you can always find support within the shamanic circle; not that you've ever resorted to that, but our little family is always there for one another. We're here for you, Saboo.'  
It was true that Saboo had never, not even once, fallen back on the shoulders of this community, preferring to rely on himself in every situation. Even when things became greatly difficult.  
'Yes. Right.' Saboo said, not enjoying this turn in the conversation.  
Dennis raised his brows. 'But, you won't seek that support, will you?'  
'Probably not.' Saboo answered honestly.  
Dennis sighed. 'I've never understood why you choose to live such an isolated life, my friend... If you do want to raise this child, you're going to have to change that.'

 

Howard and Vince were pretty pleased, considering they'd beaten Ignatious not just last week, but the previous night, too.  
'I don't see how we can beat last night's performance, Vince.' Howard said, polishing a few fingerprints off the display case.   
Vince agreed. 'It was pretty good. Did'ja see the little git's face when the crowd began cheering for us?' He laughed.  
Howard hadn't.  
'You should have, it was the best part of the entire night!' Vince said gleefully.  
Howard looked sceptical. 'Was it now, sir? Best part of the night, was it?'  
Vince cocked his head, pretending to think it over. 'Yeah, pretty sure abut that.'  
Howard scoffed, shaking his head. 'You're sure you're sure?'  
Vince bent down and kissed him. 'Yes.'


End file.
